Rachel Conger

10/12/2009

Remember My Name





Rachel Conger


Oct. 11, 1977-
March 13, 2008


Remember My Name

When you remember my walk upon this earth
Look not into my steps with pity.
When you taste the tears of my journey
Notice how they fill my foot prints
Not my spirit
For that remains with me.

My story must be told
Must remain in conscious memory
So my daughter won’t cry my tears
Or follow my tortured legacy.

Lovin’ is a tricky thing
If it doesn’t come from a healthy place,
If Lovin’ Doesn’t FIRST practice on self
it will act like a stray bullet
not caring what it hits

You may say:
Maybe I should’ve loved him a little less
Maybe I should’ve loved me a little more,
Maybe I should’ve not believed he’d never hit me again.
All those maybes will not bring me back – not right his wrong.
My life was not his to take.

As your eyes glance at my name
Understand once I breathed
Walked
Loved
just like you.

I wish for all who glance at my name
To know love turned to fear –
kept me there
Loved twisted to fear,
Kept me in a chokehold
Cut off my air
Blurred my vision
I couldn’t see how to break free.

I shoulda, told my family
I shoulda told my friends
I shoulda got that CPO
Before the police let him go

But all those shoulda’s can’t bring me back
when I lied so well
To cover the shame
To hide the signs.

If my death had to show
what love isn’t
If my death had to show
that love shouldn’t hurt

If my death had to make sure
another woman told a friend
instead of holding it in
If my death reminds you
how beautiful
how worthy
you really are
If my death reminds you
to honor all you are daily

Then remember my name
Shout it from the center of your soul
Wake me in my grave
Let ME know
My LIVING
was not in vain.






Copyright 1995 Kimberly A. Collins, Washington, D.C., reprinted with permission.



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